"Who do you want to be with right now?"

Right now, i just wanna be with gelly baby and be with my friends. I miss them so much. I miss hanging out with them, cramming with them and pigging-out with them. Hell, i miss them like god knows how much. 

Ano bang problema??

nakakaiyak na kasi talaga e. :((

nakakamatay na actually.

Friendly

I am not comfortable being in place with a lot of people. If you really know me, you would probably know that. I consider myself not a friendly person at all. I chit chat a little bit to some acquaintance but i really don't start the conversation. Some are also uncomfortable talking to me ( a lot of people say this) cause when i don't like the person who i am having a conversation with, i really make them feel that i don't like them, not them actually, but talking to them.

I am not snob, for some people may say that. Again, i am not comfortable. I don't have any problems in meeting other people, i don't have trust issues in making friends but i just like to stick on my few friends. I use to go to clubs and party a lot before but trust me, i go home without  meeting new people. I usually stay in one place, drink, eat and do my own thing.

I don't want to be surrounded by noisy people, i just want to be with happy people like my friends now. Sometimes i think why i don't make friends with others, and my conclusions are: First, i don't want my life to be talked about by so many people and in time spread wrong news about me. Secondly, i don't wanna remember many names and have a lot of contacts on my phonebook. Third, I don't like many friend,i like TRUE friends.

I am the type that sticks to someone or somethings that i am used too. I don't want new people and things on my life. I want some, sometimes, but i make sure that it will be for the better.


I always choose good, trustworthy, happy, nice and crazy people who i will be friends with not because am choosy but because only a few people really care and some are just curious. 

"When is your birthday?"

I was born August 11, 1993.. Currently 18, almost 19 (obviously). This question is really nonsense, but its part of the 100 questions so i must answer it. Since my birthday is almost just a fuck away, i would want to celebrate it with my mommy and with friends. Just a casual dinner or lunch. 

I also want these simple pleasures to be given to me on my coming birthday..

A new BB mobile

Ghirardelli box of premium chocolates

Lush Magnaminty mask (this mask is always out of stock so i can't replace my old one)

Fuji X10

Merci fine chocolates

new cigarette case

unlimited peppermint tea from SB

MAC brushes

A bouquet of flowers

Unlimited Milk tea from anywhere :D

"Who was the last person you texted?"

The last person i texted is no other than ANGELICA C. STA. ROMANA. Got home from somewhere with her cause it's our 14th month today. CONGRATS to us. yehey. I hope she'll be home early and safe. 

Try

Saw this post from another blog and i really wanna try to answer all of these questions. A hundred questions.. hahahaha! wish me luck. fuck me :D








1 - Who was the last person you texted?

2 - When is your birthday?

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?

4 - What sports do you play?

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?

8 - What do you feel right now?

9 - What chocolate is your favorite?

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?

11 - Why did you create a Blogspot account?

12 - Who is your favorite blogger?

13 - Where do you want to be right now?

14 - What do you want to be in the future?

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?

16 - Are you happy?

17 - Who do you miss?

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?

19 - What was the best thing you were given?

20 - Who was the last person who called you?

21 - What is your favorite dish?

22 - Who is your bestfriend?

23 - What is your biggest regret?

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?

26 - Name someone pretty.

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?

29 - Are you over your past?

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?

35 - How’s your heart?

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?

39 - Do you have any phobias?

40 - Did you try to change for a person?

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.

45 - Describe your dream date.

46 - Describe your dream wedding.

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?

48 - Have you ever been kissed?

49 - How long is your longest relationship?

50 - Do you regret your past?

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?

54 - Are you a crybaby?

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?

58 - Do you like getting hurt?

59 - Does anyone hate you?

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?

61 - What hair color do you prefer?

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?

66 - Can you live without internet?

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?

69 - Are you a crybaby?

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?

72 - Do you study hard?

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?

76 - Did you have an accident last year?

77 - What kind of person are you?

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?

79 - Have you ever been jealous?

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?

81 - What are you thinking right now?

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?

87 - Do you have trust issues?

88 - Are you broken-hearted?

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?

92 - Who do you want to marry?

93 - Do you believe in destiny?

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?

95 - How do you look right now?

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?

97 - Have you found your true love?

98 - What should you be doing right now?

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

Alone

Nobody wants to be alone. I would never want to be alone. A friend of my mom came to our house yesterday to vent about her dilemmas in her life. At some point while she spills her emotions to my mom i was like what the hell is your problem, you have everything you want, everything you need and you have a happy life (i think).  What made me think that she's happy? well, She go to places just to chill and relax, not all people can do that, even me. She laughs a lot every time i see her. I couldn't imagine her crying until that day. She conversed with mommy with a canned strong ice on her hand and a river full of tears  in her eyes.

I did not know how she struggles with her life until she talked about it. She ain't happy. She married a man who she doesn't love. Now, i get it. Being with someone who you don't want to be with for the rest of your life is like living  in hell. You need to to pretend caring for someone who just don't matter to you at all. 

She cries because she can't find love, she said. She slept with so many guys already just to please them but she just can't. I saw it in her eyes that she's really afraid to be alone, to grow old without someone. She's afraid to be like her mom. Her dad left them when she was still young. I saw where her problem all started.

I pity her so much. I just can't imagine myself being with someone whom i don't love. It's really hard being her. Mommy told her to keep the faith, God will give her someone who she deserves, someone who will not make her feel alone and  left behind.

People will feel being alone at some point but always remember that being alone  is not all bad, sometimes it is a good way to tell us that we can stand without anyone, we can be  happy by just having ourselves. 

People might see happiness by being single, married or religious but one thing's for sure nobody's ought to be alone. 

Fernweh

FERNWEH -

A crave for travel; being homesick for a place you've never been

I really want to travel the world. I wanna see how the world is with different culture, people, tribes, literature and perspectives. As a child, i day dream being in a wonderful place, a place where i can only see in my dreams. Back then , i didn't know that those places which lives whenever i sleep exists. I always wanted myself in a place where i can see the sky, the beach and the sand. Where i can take my love with me, a romantic place where we can cuddle and kiss. A place where i can walk all day long without even noticing that my feet are tired. A place where i can watch  the sun rise and rest. A place where i can swim, explore the ocean and the life in it. It would be so fun to travel the places my eyes have never seen before. I am feeling homesick.. 

NYC

Santorini, Greece

Maldives

London

London

Geneva, Switzerland 

Paris <3

Rome

How to Love

"I just want you to know, that you deserve the best

you're beautiful..you're beautiful..

And i want you to know you're far from the usual.."

Short

I can't sleep.

Can't help thinking. 

I do not understand why some people don't appreciate what you are doing for them. I am not referring to one or two individuals in my life but this is a human nature feeling. I am sure that anybody in this fucking world felt this emotion already, some might be feeling it right now. It is not just appreciation but all the emotions that you are not enough to somebody or you're just feeling short.

I feel short right now, not in height but in emotion. I feel like other people just don't appreciate me, what i do, and what i can do. I have been pleasing people not to be loved but for the reason that i fucking love them. I want them to be happy and contented by having me around. Yes, i might change but isn't that normal as well? Am i not deserving to be treated way better than i am treated before? Is there something wrong on making me feel my importance without me doing anything? Maybe, am not that loved.

It is like i have given all for free, i just want some gratitude and tenderness. It is not bad to ask something in return specially when you know that you deserve it. I am not about having everything you want but i am in the give and take process. If you want to be treated well then treat others well.

Am i bad for saying this? I feel what i am saying. Am i also prohibited in doing this? Am not. I just want to breathe, i am not tired of feeling this "shortness"  in me but i want to let myself be fine and okay and try to be the old me again. Might take a long time but i am willing to go back to what i am before if i really did changed. 

Still, i feel short. 

I am sorry for being short.

Maybe i didn't gave my best shot..

but there's nothing not to be love about me.

i know am giving BEST, not everyday but i do.. 

Spa Day

Finally, date with mommy pushed through today.  Had a lot of fun with mommy and her friend tita Vanjie. We ate a lot from lunch to early dinner. The food served was great, my favorite part of our dining is cooking and eating shabu-shabu. i fucking love shabu-shabu. Other than that they also served tasteful  beverages. I stayed long inside the sauna/ charcoal room and bathed into the jacuzzi. I also enjoyed the body scrub which a girl wearing a bikini will scrub your whole body.. hahaha! wonderland it is :D The highlight of this date is having a body massage. It's heaven on earth. All your stresses will be gone after the suiting body massage.

Wensha spa is a good place to visit for you to relax and forget all the stresses from work, home and others. They offer a lot, from mani pedi, to waxing and body massage. My mom and i always go to wensha whenever we have time to pamper ourselves.

am so fucking happy

smile

yum yum in my fucking tumtum

mommy with tita vanjie

shabu-shabu 

mix and mix :D

enjoying my food

this lemon cake suits the orange juice.. so yummy!

eat again before the massage

chit-chats

mommy and me

Sorry for the poor resolution of the photos, i just used my iphone and mom's BB :))

Mother's Day

My Superhero

Today is obviously mother's day,planned a lot for mommy. We went to wensha to pamper ourselves but there's a lot of people, as in! We waited for awhile  but my mom and i were pretty hungry so we decided to go to friday's to eat dinner. We are supposed to go back to wensha but my mommy told me to just go back tomorrow. So, tomorrow it is.




Since today is a day for mommies i would dedicate this entry for my mom. She has been my Superhero. She dedicated her life and everything for me, to give me everything i need and want. Since my Dad died last 2008 she has been my father and mother all at one persona. She can be anything, a friend, a mother,a sister and a provider. I love her so much that i can't even express it in words. We do fight sometimes but we definitely fix our misunderstanding right away. I know that she just want the best for me that's why she scolds and prohibits me on doing things that might not work well.




Mom, this one's for you.. I know that i don't usually say how much i care and love you but God knows how much i really do. I don't know how would my life be without you mommy. I pray for you to have a long and healthy life every night cause am really afraid to lose someone as precious as you are. Mommy, thank you! and i really love you to the moon and back. Thank you for being my hero.

These are old photos of me and mommy (not so old) i can't find any so i chose to post these.

I LOVE YEW MOMMY <3

Dinner

Last night, my mom and I ate outside for us to bond and stroll at the same time. Usually, when eating outside my mom and I will fight over on where to eat but that night was different, when we saw French Baker we rapidly went inside, found a sit, asked for the menu then ordered. I'm shocked with my mom who doesn't really  like pasta and other food served in that resto. She's not really in to Italian food, she wants more of rice and viands while i enjoy everything with pasta and cheese.. My mom, even though loves to eat rice she still doesn't eat a lot like me. I love eating like God knows how much..

mommy, choosing what to eat 

steak sandwich with potato crisp and salad
(i love balsamic)

beef lasagna (my favorite)

Sjora tropical pineapple for mom
and iced tea for me.

lastly, baked chicken (the chicken is very yummy and tender)

Tomorrow is mother's day, i already planned another date with my mom. Am so excited to be pampered tomorrow, i will treat her to the spa so she can relax from all the stress and at the same time enjoy the ambiance and the food. 'till my next blog.. ciao 

The Avengers

Watched the Avengers yesterday with girlfriend.The movie was so freakin' awesome! the FX are very well done, the setting was perfect and of course the characters brought justice and life to the movie. Robert Downey Jr. played as Tony Stark/ Iron man, a genius billionaire. He is so amazing, he's my favorite of all the avengers. He has shown great acts to this movie and to all of his past movies such as Sherlock Holmes 2009 and 2011. He really made acting a way to make a living. He's a genius. I also love the butt-kicking Scarlett Johansson who played as Natasha Romanoff/ Black Widow. She really worked hard for her action scenes. The other characters are Chris Hemsworth/Thor, Chris Evans/Captain America, Mark Ruffalo/Hulk, and Jeremy Renner/Hawkeye  also showed their great talents. This movie is really a "must-watch film". Two thumbs up for Joss Whedon (director) and for all the cast and crew. 

hungry us :(

ate at KFC before heading to the movie house

Ticks :D

Fights

My girlfriend and i have been into fights these past few days

and it disturbs me a lot when i know that i am hurting her. 

I know that some of our conflicts are because of me but i try hard to work things out.

Even though i play tough when we fight,  it doesn't mean that 

i don't love her anymore nor careless.

i love her with or without conflicts.

Right now, we are still in a fight, oh yes! we are.

The bad thing is, i don't even know how this problem started or maybe

i just don't want to accept that this problem is again, because of me.

My girlfriend and i have open communication so i know that

these conflicts  and misunderstandings will be over soon.

I just hope that our prides won't eat us.

i need you, gelly baby.. let's fix this.

I just want these conflicts fixed

and be with her again.. i miss her, its been weeks since we last

hang out, so i do really miss her.. :((